I am Gaia

We went down a narrow trail towards the waterfall. In a gap between the trees I could glimpse the landscape that awaited us. Suddenly I am standing in front of a huge rock, I walk on it and see the waterfall, my heart fills with love, and I want to laugh and cry at the same time. This waterfall, in its geography, resembles many others I've been to, so why did this one capture my heart so much?

While the other women take their time to prepare to swim or explore, I don't want to wait and throw myself into that cold water and let my body be embraced by the current.

Once when I was in Burkina Faso, a Griô master told me to ask for permission before entering the water. I didn't really understand his words, he mixed French with Djeli, which is the language spoken in that region. But energetically I understood that we were entering another territory, and that it was necessary to ask permission before entering. I do this by going slowly, letting the water get used to my body, while I am bathed by its cold embrace.

I jump into the water and walk slowly. On the other side of the bank I see a stone, rectangular, flat and almost the size of my body, it seems like it is calling me. Am I crazy? Is the stone talking to me?

I follow the impulse and swim towards it. In a few seconds I am on top of it. I get distracted looking at the other Women swimming, but the rock calls me again. I feel her calling as a strong pull to be with her. I feel afraid of it all being too much and I think: “am I really going to stay here talking to the stone? I don't even have my beep book with me, I'll forget it later...” and the next thing I know I'm already lying on my stomach hugging the rock, and crying.

I miss another life in which talking to stones was normal. I miss this nature that lives inside me, capable of belonging to and feeling everything that is around me. As I cried, was I calling out to those parts of me, Or were those parts calling out to me?

How did I forget that the stones, the waters, the trees are my sisters? How could we forget this as humanity? I want to believe that it will take time, that humans will change their relationship with Gaia. But there, hugging that rock, listening to the waterfall, there is no room for fantasies. That life I lived can no longer exist again. I cry once more.

My conversation continues, I realize that to listen to nature I need to relax, renounce pre-conceived thoughts of how it should be, of right and wrong, and even give up words. It is a process of letting go of the known. At this point my numbness bar is low and my mind is silent. And once again I start to cry.

The stone asks me if I have forgotten what I am. There was so much love in this, that this question was a calling. I have no answers, just a sequence of images in my head and sensations in my body. Life in the city, growing up going to school, adapting to fit into modern culture life. All these decisions of mine took me away from what I am, because they took me away from my communion with something bigger than me. I realize that by moving away from nature I moved away from my own nature, because I am also Gaia.

As I let the love of the stone embrace all my bodies, I look at the other Women of the Earth in the waterfall. Vera climbed a slippery part of the rocks, she is very close to the waterfall doing exercises, I feel joy and see her body in movement as if she were also the waterfall. Laura is on top of the highest rock, she opens her arms, looks at the immensity, I see her being unfolding as the sun bathes her body, she is so radiant. I get up to look at the other Women and also Kristoffer, who came to spend a week with us at the house. Each of them is exploring the waterfall. Eithne throws herself into the water, something happens to her, I don't know what it is, I don't understand the words. What I witness is that she is expanding her limits and being wild as she flaps her arms in the water.

I hear a call for a meeting. It's time to say goodbye to the stone but I realize that it is not a goodbye because I am connected with it, and in doing so we created a space of love, in which we both belong. Even now as I write these words, I can feel its presence. Telepathy happens in these spaces of Love, where two or more hearts meet.

I meet with the other Women on top of another rock. Lisa-Maria proposes to find a character to expand our possibilities of being in the world, changing the Thoughtware about Reality, and I realize that this is what I was doing while talking to the stone.

The character that they suggest to me and that I am trying out is: I am a queen and I have everything in the palms of my hands. And what I want, as a queen, is to live in a world where every woman feels her body as Gaia, and all the strength, power, creation, and vulnerability they have within it.

I want to be a queen who holds space for something bigger and beyond her Box and her mind and I decide: the full explosion of my potential can come through me now!