Identity Shift into Being a Pearl of Wisdom
A report on the transformational effects of conscious theatre in a team of edgeworkers
One day here in the Bridge-House we decided to shift into a different identity. Everybody presented one's major role being played out and then together in the circle we gave each other a new identity to play. The mask I had been mainly running around with consisted of doubting myself and not saying what I had to say.
The Thoughtware of the new identity that was given to me was 'I am a living Pearl of Wisdom'. I implemented this new identity by energetically stepping into a whole-body-suit of that Thoughtware which I zipped up.
Already during these preparatory steps I noticed a shift. I spoke louder than before, I did not sit still as much and dared to move my body into a standing position even though everybody was still sitting in the circle. From the outside this might not be a big shift and yet inwardly it was. I felt this freedom inside to move. Layers of doubt and shame seemed to be cast off. The people in the Bridge-House started to call me 'Wisdom' and began asking me questions. They took what I said to heart. They would be attentively listening when I spoke and if there would be someone interrupting there was always a woman reminding to get present again as Wisdom was speaking. Even now sitting in this writing space the women next to me say: “Thank you Wisdom.” when I say something to them.
My inner posture got straightened and I got mirrored that my words actually do have value for others. Something in me rapidly grew up. I got arrogant. An arrogance in the face of which I would have shivered in fear just some months ago. Within one day I spoke more than I had ever done in this group before.
When someone asks me to speak I never know directly what I am going to say. I simply open my mouth and words just come out. It is as if what wants to be said through me originates from a very different place than my mind. My mind is simply delivering the necessary letters, words and sentences to transcribe what has to be said. It is 'just' this amazing tool that is needed to deliver the message. Like the computer I am using right now to write these words. The Source for what wants to be said through me is nothing I already know. It is not coming from the library in my mind of all the things I have experienced. Those events serve as building blocks to puzzle together what Wisdom has to say in such a way that it can land in the questioner.
It seems Wisdom is a type of Source of the universe that can be consulted and tapped into. I tapped into that Source so it could flow through me. I feel so honoured and seen in this identity. It is not only for me. I have a lot of fun doing it, and it amazing to see that it mainly serves others.
All of this is only possible because I have this incredible Team of Beings around me who would not stop supporting me in walking in this new identity. I had many moments when I slipped back into my old pattern and got small again. And over and over again someone asked me: “Wisdom, what do you have for me on this...?” or saying “Thank you wisdom.” This helps me remember and shift back. It is like I am learning how to walk and my friends are giving me their hand to do it.
They listen, they ask, they are present and I really experience that they want to hear what I have to say. It is not fake. I get it deep inside of me, because it is an experience. I feel alive, light like flying, and I do not know what comes next.
Days later I remembered having asked a woman here some time ago about my compulsiveness around food on which I am working since a while. That woman, Tamara, said to me: “Your food issues are not about food. You are doing this because you have pearls with a very subtle energy that your are shoving down with food. You need to let these pearls out and your food issue will resolve itself.” I thank the universe for this. I still have this food thing going on and I am still holding back many times. And I am evolving. An ever evolving pearl of wisdom.