Lessons from a 4-and-3/4 Year Old

And Just Blurting IT Out!

The Healing Process Experiment

72 hours. 7 guardian adult caretakers. 3 supporters. 1 child.

The radiant, wild women of the Women Of Earth Bridge House are to take care of me as a child for three full days.

The Experience(s) - From the eyes of the child

The clock starts at 9 am on Saturday when I give over my phone to Vera, to limit my screen time, of course. Children don’t have phones anyways. Makes sense.

We are all in the kitchen and the women start fixing me up my first of many breakfasts, snacks, and meals for the day (it’s easy to get away with eating a lot when you have 7 mothers who don’t already know everything you’ve eaten before. I highly recommend this strategy if you love trying everything out like me).

One mother asks me how old I am. I say four. And three quarters. As a four and three quarter year old, one must be very precise about their age, because every day really counts. I’ve only been around for whatever 365 times four and three quarters is days and so that’s really lifetimes of experience when you think about it.

The same goes for when placing a food order. Strangely quickly my mothers/ guardians/ caretakers/ older sisters/ grandmothers/ aunts (I am four and three quarters and they each are relating to me at their own different ages, too, naturally) catch on to my scheme of eating everything and start asking me if I am actually hungry after my sixth round of breakfast. Vera tells me I can check with my body. So, I check with my belly and I’m not really sure. I know want to eat the eggs, the toast, the banana, the mango, AND the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. And now, I want to have a bite of the oatmeal cooked with nuts and dried fruits, too. But now I am starting to feel sad because I am scared that I did something wrong to my body because I want to eat the oatmeal, but I am not very hungry. I’m getting confused about what I really want.

Some tears start to come out of my eyes, and Vera tells me I can ask for just one bite and be precise and exact about what I want.

Wow! I didn’t know I could just ask for one bite to be prepared for me! What an amazing possibility. I can try just a little bit, and not waste the rest, AND have exactly what I want, AND make my belly happy! All at once. I just ask for what I want and it happens! I’m really glad I know I can do this now, and it’s actually my new superpower if you didn’t already know.

—

After morning workout that day, Beth takes me out to the natural pool in the back of the house. On the way we walk through the MAGICAL, and when I say MAGICAL, it is SOOOO MAGICAL, rainforest! There are textured plants with all kinds of red, yellow, pink, and green on them! There are little alien spaceship bugs flying around and fairies going into their little jungle homes inside of the little tree caves! And then there’s the footbridge we use to cross over the stream that is a portal to enter the water-jungle world! Everything is so vibrant and alive and colorful and magical, and I am apart of this explosion of life happening! I love it.

Laura, Lisa-Maria and Hannah come with us as we all get into our natural bathing suits and get into the pool. It is interesting to see all these women’s bodies and how they are all so different. Colors, shapes, sizes, textures — I didn’t know about the diversity between bodies. I wonder what my body will look like when I am older.

We bathe in the secret garden with ancient water sources flowing down the mountain into the pool and WE joyously dance around in it! I love nature and magic. I love being with all my mother guardians. Then I hear Laura say something about Gaia and what I think I hear is, “Funky Mama Gaia.” She says she said something else, but it’s too late—all of a sudden Hannah starts beat boxing. We all start freestyling, and now we are making up lyrics to the song we are co-creating in real time about “Funky Mama Gaia… may she inspire… taking down the patriarchal empire…” We dance our way in and around the pool creating and celebrating being together. Giggling and splashing, I just love my life, and I love it here with my guardian women.

—

After being in the pool again the next day with my moms, we come back up to the house. I am in my natural bathing suit again. We are all standing in the kitchen and the moms, aunts, older sisters, and grandmothers are gathered there, talking about things, making food, doing adult stuff.

I want to take a shower now so I ask Laura if she will take me to have one like she did the other day. It was so fun! We got to use her shampoo, and conditioner, and her clove soap that stings my face!

Now she says we can go in 10 minutes. But I want to go now! So I say it, that I want to go now. And she says no. Again!

NO?! Who does she think I am? An adult? I can’t go on my own. And she doesn’t know that this morning this strange thing happened when I woke up. I was bleeding… down there. It hurt and I think this happens to older girls, but I am special and so I guess I have it now.

Anyways, now I am angry and sad and I start to cry. Oh no! It’s even more than that, it’s an earthquake hurricane and all the storm clouds are coming and I can’t control what is happening. All of a sudden I am in full tantrum. Crying, wailing, dripping wet, naked, bleeding, surrounded by all the moms and no one will take me to shower now!!!!! What is going on?!?!?! I’m so scared and upset and no one cares about me or wants to help me or listen to me!!!!

All of a sudden, Aunt Sónia appears and she says to come with her. She brings me to the downstairs bathroom and into the shower. She tells me to wait here as she gets her soaps and asks me where is my soap. I point it out to her. She starts to wash my hair and then shows me how she only uses her fingers to comb out her own hair. I ask her if she owns a comb, and she says no. Magic! She doesn’t even have a comb!

She starts to show me how to comb my hair with my fingers, and how it is important to use conditioner to help to make it soft to comb it out. Then she starts to tell me how to comb my hair, to start at the bottom and work my way up. She tells me it is important to be gentle with my body.

Then I remember how my brother, when I was young the first time around, told me I was always hardcore toothbrushing, and also how Jeffrey, the man I relate to romantically as an adult, told me sometimes that I brushed my hair with a lot of anger.

Tears are coming out of my eyes again as I don’t remember anyone telling me before that it is important to be gentle with my body. I realize it is special to live in my body and this is the one I have. I don’t want to hurt it! I want to take good care of it. I vow to do it. Thank you to Aunt Sónia for telling me its important to be gentle with me. I can tell it is important not to forget it.

—

Vera is reading us a book every day about a young witch named Tiffany. I think she is me, just living inside the book. She has just about as many questions and curiosities as I do, I’m not sure who has more. In the middle of the night, Tiffany wakes up and notices a kind of silence where she can tell people are around but they are trying to be quiet. It is those little creature men that are accompanying her. I know what she means by this sound somehow, like there is vacuum sucking the space, creating a kind of tight tension in the space that would otherwise be loose. She falls back asleep and wakes up again sometime later to notice a different kind of silence, the one where there is nothing there. Just pure stillness.

Later at dinner with all the mothers and guardians we come to a pause, in between conversations, or spaces. The space moments ago had been cut with an invisible knife and we are waiting for the next thing. It doesn’t come. Just the silence. I am wondering when the next thing will come. I sense some kind of sucking happening creating the tension in the space and feel fear about it. So I just blurt it out and ask everyone, “Is this the kind of silence where people are trying to be quiet, or the kind of silence where there is nothing happening?”

Vera says she thinks it is the kind where people are trying to be quiet. And then the next thing comes. It is scary and fun to blurt things out. It makes the next thing come. I will keep trying this out.

—

I take a lot of naps. Right on a little place that is made up for me somewhere near where all the women are. It is so nice to sleep when I am sleepy near my moms.

—

Apparently Hannah has a secret power where she knows where to find hidden shoes! It’s so cool! One day one of my shoes that was sitting outside with the rest of the pairs of shoes is missing. We don’t know what took it — maybe a marysoupials, or a doggie, or some kind of jungle monster. It isn’t so clear.

Then the next day a bunch of more shoes are gone! So only half of each pair of shoes are still at the house for six women or so. Someone saw a doggie the afternoon before so it was discovered that’s probably who did it.

One of my moms wants to leave to go find the shoes on a treasure hunt and I am angry and scared that she would leave without us. We need to go find the shoes together! That’s what mom said, that we would go on a treasure hunt together. Then another mom hears me ask if we will all go together, and then two of them do some talking and in the end say yes, we will go in ten minutes together. Yay!

So in ten minutes we all go off treasure hunting for shoes. I am with Beth, and it’s so fun to be with Beth because we might make tree-leaf princess crowns, or splash in the water, or play dress up, or who knows what else. But right now we are looking, I mean really looking — under and over leaves and branches and up and down the hill, by the footbridge, and by the—"I found one!” shouts Hannah.

She found it! The first of the missing shoes! We all run towards her, up the hill at the back of the house towards another structure that looks left behind by its owners. Everyone is asking her how she knew where to look and she said she asked herself, “Where would I go if I were a dog taking other people’s shoes?” And then she followed her senses where they led her.

So we all tag along the trail and follow her up and then down the hill, and then, ANOTHER! Hannah finds the next shoe! I can’t believe it, we can’t believe it. She is discovering her shoe hunting magic before our eyes!

Then we reach the abandoned looking structure, which is some kind of place that animals seem to live. We look down the hill, and before we know it she is standing right next to a pile of the rest of our missing shoes on the other side of the wall she is next to down the hill. Aunt Sónia yells down to her, and I chime in, to help navigate her to the opening in the structure and to get the rest of the shoes. She goes in and finds them and we all celebrate! Hannah is a real shoe hunter. A true a magician. We walk back to the house happily and proudly with our shoes in hand, and a twinkle in our eyes about the magic that just happened on our treasure hunt together.

—

I am sitting at the countertop at the edge of the kitchen and Beth comes in with a bag of magical jewelry and asks if I want to organize it. I don’t know if she knows it, but I love organizing. I go through the Egyptian earrings, and the sacred head piece, and the narwhal necklace that Beth handmade. I decide to put them all on and adorn myself like a princess for the day. Then I kept wearing the narwhal necklace for the following days because it was so fun to be a narwhal, and to look at this beautiful creation Beth made. I can’t believe she made it! With her own hands!

—

I asked Anna to teach me about magic. Then she asked me back, “What magic do I see?” Apparently that is how magic goes. It’s somewhere inside of me, and someone else cannot teach me about it. But they can ask me about it. All I want to know is about magic and I am so glad I am surrounded by it inside and out. Being around Anna makes me want to learn more about magic.

The Healing Results - From the eyes of the adult woman

The women experienced me in my full aliveness, smile and laughter for the first time.

The women could be more in intimate, physical contact with me, and me with them.

I could just blurt out what I wanted to say, without hesitation or worrying about what others think of me.

I brought people together by paying attention and speaking to what I wanted to happen.

I fueled the fires of my curiosity, and learned how much I care about magic.

I can be with, and even appreciate and embrace, the child part in me. I have so much to learn from her!

I am letting go of trying to be someone or get somewhere else.