Our Fear Walk
A legend about Fear Club in the Women of the Earth Bridgehouse.
This is a legend about doing really scary things and living full out.
I have loved doing Fear Club together with the Women of Earth Bridge-House. We don’t just watch it and do the exercises together. When the session ends we get to take what we have learnt and practice it together in our daily lives, which has been beyond precious and positively life-changing.
I also want to celebrate Anne-Chloé Destremau for her magnificent space-holding and all the participants of the Fear Club. It has been a before and after in my life, I just LOVED IT, in capital letters. I don’t know how else to explain it.
It was a source of so many legends and learnings for me. Like, for example I have discovered that I am so turned on by fear work that I now know this is part of my path. Another one is that it really landed in my experiential reality how Fear is the compass and the portal to creation, whether that is creating intimacy, adventure or transformation.
Anyway, back to the subject of this sharing.
In the session Anne-Chloe guided us through an energetic self-brain surgery to fill in our old fear grooves and make a new one. My new one is, if I feel afraid, I am more afraid to not do it then to do it. After the surgery there was an exercise to practice using our new groove. Vera stopped the recording and said “I want to go outside and do this out in the world.” Jacqueline, Danielle and I were in. We grabbed our things and started to walk together.
The women guided me to feel my fear as we walked. It was difficult, a lot of emotional fear came up about doing it wrong, not knowing what to do. My old groove would have been to let my fear stop me from going. In my new groove if I am afraid, then I am more afraid of not doing it. So I carried on going deeper until I could feel pure conscious fear.
The thoughts disappeared, I was present, aware of my surroundings, my senses were magnified, I felt, a lot. It was very intense, I started to cry as people walked past me on the street. I didn't know what I was sad about or scared about. There were no stories. It was so intense I could only stay there for a short time before I would be back in my head, a dominant survival strategy of mine. Again and again, Vera, Danielle and Jaqueline guided me back to the conscious fear and to what it was telling me to do. As we were reaching a sandy path close to the beach my fear told me to run. I said it to the women and they said, so go!
I started to run and scream with my eyes open, looking into the shocked and scared faces of the people as I ran past them, looking into their eyes as I was screaming and running. I stopped to catch my breath, a huge surge of joy washed over me. My being was ecstatic. I felt so alive. The experience was incredibly expanding for my nice, sane-looking, need-to-be-liked Box. After this, Jaqueline had her turn. She ran into the sea with all her clothes on and then approached strangers on the beach and started dangerous conversations.
It was adventurous and high-level fun and shows me what can happen when we listen to our fear and just move. And to be able to do that together, while holding space for each other, on each other's team and telling each other go!
That is a space where we can truly fly.