Playing the Game of Life
And enjoying every minute of it
Last Saturday, the Women of Earth traveled by car over the rocky mountain roads to a small commune outside of Petrópolis, where we discovered a beautiful waterfall. About halfway up the waterfall there was a picture-perfect pool, with huge rocks on the far side. Many of the women left into the water to swim to the rocks to meet for a very important meeting—a costume part of the upmost importance. We brought with us our old identities, and we were there to trade them in for something new.
The experiment went like this: we all have memes. Memes are the pre-thoughts upon which we base our beliefs, assumptions, personalities, and ultimately actions in the world. The first step was to identify the cornerstone memes upon which each woman built herself. Then, a new meme would be decided upon by the council of women and the suggested meme would be the cornerstone of each woman’s life for a day. In having a new cornerstone, a new character would be born. The purpose of the experiment was not to find a direct opposite character. Doing so would not be so helpful— for example, if hating myself is the center of my world and I choose a character that does not hate herself, then hatred is still at the center, still what I move from.
In the car ride to the pool, we had each identified our primary characters. The Eithne character is neurotic in the extreme. She is utterly dedicated to carrying on the show that she has it all together. She is extremely intelligent but dedicates the full might of her genius to analyzing herself for the ways she falls short. This is followed swiftly by trying to hide her failings and agonizing from everyone around her, and beating the ever-loving shit out of herself over and over when people notice. It’s not a very pretty sight.
The possibility given to me by my sisters was to replace my meme of “I will never be enough” with “Life is a game and I love playing it.” Moments after I declared my new identity, I jumped into the pool and swam—really swam, not just wading!—for the first time since I almost drowned as a teenager. I laughed and tears came to my eyes because I had missed the feeling of weightlessness and feeling water rush up my nose.
As a Player of the Game of Life, I am unrecognizable. I speak, even if it’s Gremlin, even if it’s Child Ego State, because I have something I want to say and I trust my team to give me beeps if needed. I’ve stopped trying to figure myself out, focusing my attention more on the world outside of me. My spaceholding has shifted—I come out of processes having no idea at all what I’ve said because I’ve let go of trying to do anything, and the feedback is that it’s working. I’m playful and adventurous and so much more forward with myself. I’m done playing cool, playing small. I go to dance parties and I tell people what’s really going on and I stop pretending that being alive is not a gift that I am celebrating every moment of every day.
Most importantly, I love the women around me so much. I’m letting them love me and the world around me is painted in colors of connection and aliveness—the most vibrant colors there are.
With love from the land of playfulness,
Eithne
(P.S. the other woman chose other identities as well—shoot them a message to ask them who they are now!
Meredith: I speak because I hate lying.
Sónia: What else can i unfold with you right here right now?
Laura: My only purpose in life is to enjoy it.
Lisa-Maria: This moment has everything.
Beth: I savour the nectar of life and see the sacredness in every moment.
Anna: I am a living pearl of wisdom.
Vera: Everything that happens is a direct invitation to unfold my being.
Kristofer: I scan and guard the dignity of the space.
Danielle: I am a boss ass bitch and I got this shit on lock.
Leslie: I am a woman on fire for life.)